Two in There!


smmmmonkey!
August 24, 2006, 8:20 am
Filed under: art, craft

Yesterday I got a hole in my favourite pair of socks. Since I knew they were doomed, I decided to immortalize them by making a sock monkey. They’ve been around since the early 1900s, when people made toys out of old scraps of material, so I decided to have a go at making my own little monkey dude. I’ve also decided to write a little tutorial so you can have a go at making your own :)

sock monkey

To make this awesome little dude you will need:

1 pair of socks (preferably clean ones!)

1 pair of scissors

1 ruler (or anything with a straight edge, i used a book)

1 pen (felt pens work good, unless you’re using dark socks, then some chalk might be useful)
Some stuff to stuff him with ( I use polyester fire retardant stuffing, but you could use anything, old cushion stuffing, wool, scrap material, sponge, just whatever comes to hand!)

Sewing machine ( a needle and thread work fine, but it’ll take longer)

Step 1. So you have your pair of socks, and you’re ready to rock (sorry, didn’t mean for that to rhyme). Take one of the socks and flatten it out andstep 1
socks!

fold it in half so that it looks like this. Draw line from the cuff towards the heel, stopping about an inch short of the edge. Now you start to stitch. Unfold the sock first, so you don’t sew the folded sock together!

Step 2. Using either a sewing machine, or a needle and thread with a lot of patiencestep 2 close up (using backstitch), sew up either side of the line, about a quarter of an inch away. Grab hold of your pen again and draw
step 2

two semicircles towards the cuff end off the sock. You sew along these lines to make your monkey’s feet nice and rounded. This is probably quite hard to imagine, so here’s a little close-up diagram of what I mean.

So, firstly cut up the line in between the middle of your two seams to give your monkey two seperate little leggies. Now using the sewing machine, or backstitch, sew round yor little curves. Personally I prefer to do this by hand since you have much more control over your curve.

Step 3. Now unfold your monkey! You’ve basically just made most of his body (easy huh?) and it shouldstep 4 look like the picture on the left. There should be a little hole between your monkey’s legs so that you can turn him inside out, using a chopstick or a pen will help you poke the legs out. Once you’ve done that, stuff him! Again,using a chopstick or a pen will help you to poke the stuffing down into the trickier parts.

Step 4. Now you move onto the other sock. This sock will basically be divided into parts to make the monkey’s tail, arms, ears, and face. Flatten the sock out (profile) step 5and draw a line an inch and a half from the edge opposite to the heel side, but don’t get too close to the heel (you need this for his face). Stitch either side of your line like you did on the first sock. Cut along the line to split the sock in two. The long thin piece becomes your tail. Round off the bottom edge on your machine (or by hand) like you did with the legs, stuff it and stitch it on to your monkey’s bum, and your monkey has a tail.

sockbitsStep 5. Cut out the heel from the other part of your sock, and put it to one side. Split what’s left of the sock in two. One part will be used for your monkey’s ears,step 5 a and the others for his arms. Using the larger piece, draw a line up the middle as you did for the legs (but you can draw right to the edge this time). Again sew either side of your line, round off the edges, and cut up between your seams. Now you have two arms, so stuff them and stitch them on!

step 6Step six. Use the other part of the sock to draw two ear shapes, and sew round the lines. I found it easier to sew them by hand. Again, cut them out, stuff them and sew them on to your monkey. Now he can hear! (Well, maybe not). Next, take the last bit of your sock, the heel. Stitch that on to your monkey’s face with the edges turned in, leaving a hole for you to put the stuffing in. Stitch up the hole, and you’re almost done. Add eyes (buttons work well) a nose, and anything else you like!

And there you have it, one sock monkey!



just to clarify
August 23, 2006, 8:22 am
Filed under: misc

I don’t want to buy viagra. I don’t want to enlarge my penis. I don’t want to play online poker. I don’t want to buy meds online. I don’t want to do whatever it is you’re asking me to do in chinese, so you can stop leaving your pointless comments on my posts.

I getting rather sick of all this spam malarky.



bagels, buns and bloke-a-cola
August 18, 2006, 8:24 am
Filed under: misc

A belgian bun does not constitute a staple breakfast really does it? I think I’m kidding myself by saying “but I had a salad sandwich first!”. Only proper cake-junkies or fat people have buns for breakfast. I suppose, I could justify it as a craving…. the icing was just so good! It was only yesterday I was mocking a friend for having cycled to leuchars and back, only to cancel it out by buying a medley of cakes on the way home. I’m such a hypocrite. I’m counting my cake as a belated reward for finally finding the motivation to gut the kitchen yesterday.

Let me see, what can I talk about this morning? The news? I tend to start my day with second rate news at the moment, since I can usually grab a metro on the bus. I’ve noticed that they have a talent for reporting yesterday’s news, and tarting it up to make it sound more exciting than it really is. Don’t get me wrong, I do enjoy it, but I make sure I read the bbc as soon as I get in to work, just to make sure I’ve got the facts. However, I did particularly enjoy a large picture of babyshambles’ favourite junkie Pete Doherty sheepishly buying a bagel. I’ll update this post with the pic later on :)

In the news we’ve also got Mel Gibson in rehab, naked women slow dancing with pig carcasses, and ten year old child murder cases being solved. Just the same as ever really.

I see the Bloke-a Cola ad campaign has been pulled, and quite right too. It’s the biggest piece of advertising crap I’ve seen in yonks. Actually, there are quite a few adverts I really don’t like at the moment, namely the Frosties advert with the most cringeworthy adolescent, the Talk to Frank campaign with the ugliest and most annoying little boy in the world, and the Capri Sun ‘Squeeze Please’ adverts – something about the animation just really irritates me. Anyway, back to Coke Zero. MEN DON’T CARE ABOUT CALORIES. At least not in their fizzy drinks. That’s for us women with nothing better to do to fuss about. Not only does it taste crap, but it’s aimed at a market that doesn’t even really exist. It’s aimed at the lads-mag, football-loving, curry-eaters of the male populace (as you can tell from the ridiculously ‘male’ nonsense spouted in the ads). Do Coke really think that these blokes want to drink Diet Coke for men? “That’s right lads, you too can care about your physique, no longer will you have to face the shame of purchasing a woman’s drink! We’ve repackaged Diet Coke, made it all black and masculine, grrrrrr”. I think not. Not even punting multiple cans of it to passer’s by on Princes Street, whilst two breakdancers twirl on their heads outside a stretch hummer will convince me of it’s apparent greatness. Actually, everyone I’ve spoken to thinks it’s crap, so really only the marketing exec’s from Coke think it’s a hit. as Dave said to me yesterday, “it reeks of a 35 year old trying to make an advert for a 25 year old”. I’m rather looking forward to their next offering of crappy advertising for a similarly crappy product.

On a less ranty note, I just read a nice story about a clever dog rescuing a little boy. Hurray for animal heroics!

Right, better get back to work now! :)



a few thoughts
August 17, 2006, 8:26 am
Filed under: babies, misc, pregnancy

Special K – Why is it so good? I mean, technically it’s a diet food, ergo it should be crap, but it’s wonderful! It’s the tastiest, yummiest loveliest thing, and it help’s you stay svelt and beautiful (if part of a calorie controlled diet, for me it doesn’t count since I’m eating so much at the mo).

Also, I’m now 18 weeks pregnant, and I can feel my baby wriggling about. I started to feel he/she at about 16 weeks, but it felt more like butterflies flapping away in my tummy. Over the past two weeks the baby’s bones have been hardening, so now I can really feel all the little pokes and prods as the baby wiggles. I’ve been playing music to the baby too, and so far it approves or Rilo Kiley and NIN (what an odd combo!) and particularly enjoys the friends theme tune. I can’t help but giggle when the baby dances, it’s such an odd sensation, but yet feels completely natural at the same time. It’s such a wonderful feeling.

I also finished making a little panda bag last night, and it’s officially the first thing up for sale on my etsy shop which you can check out here. I still haven’t thought of a good name for my shop, so it’s imaginatively called ‘Spilly’s Shop’ for the time being. If anyone has any good suggestions please let me know. I’ll be linking to the shop from the beanmilk nav bar at some point soon, so please check it out from time to time, and I’d love it if you lovely people were to buy something nice. If you leave me a comment here, you might just score yourself some mates rates ;)

On a not-so-fun note, is anyone else really starting to feel really uneasy about this whole terrorist thing? My whole life I’ve always thought how lucky we are not to live with war or fear of war, but that’s sort of gone away now. I wouldn’t get on a plane if you paid me right now, which is pretty odd considering I’m usually quite a rational girl (ok, well that’s a fib, but I’m not afraid of flying). I think it’s because now I not only have myself to think about, that the threat seems much more real. I even get uneasy on the bus to work at the moment. Every day we’re hearing about the threat of getting blown to smitherines for Allah’s sake. I’ve always found Islam a really fascinating religion, and having muslim family, I’ve come to understand a fair bit about it. I just can’t get my head round all of this extremism. It makes me worried for my family too. Scotland’s not known for being the most tolerant or unprejudiced country, and I’m afraid my family are going to be the victim of people’s narrow-mindedness. It really puts things in to perspective for you, it makes you really think about how terrifying it must be for those people who face war every day, and all the innocent people who have died through other people’s violence. I really wish we could all get along. What’s so horrible about peace? Can’t we all just resolve our conflict like reasonable, good people, and stop sacrificing the innocent because the big boys like to play with guns and bombs. I don’t know, life is just such an amazing thing, why do people want to destroy it?

Anyway, that’s enough from me just now. I’m going to go and eat more magic cereal, drink tea, and not think about all the badness in the world :)



mystery of the univery
August 11, 2006, 8:28 am
Filed under: 1

What is Caramac? Is it chocolate? Is it hardened condensed milk? Does it even have anything to do with caramel?

I don’t understand it, but my, it’s good.