Two in There!


the human snot-machine
October 26, 2006, 8:17 am
Filed under: 1

Now in week 28 of babyage, and experiencing what I like to call Total Body Pregnancy; I am undeniably pregnant from my swollen sausage fingers and nightly heartburn, to my achey feet and giant egg-body. Oh, and I have the cold to boot. There should be a law against having the cold during pregnancy – It’s crappy at the best of times, but when you’re tired and trying to conserve your energy, it’s at least 10.5 times as rubbish, possibly more. I reckon I could’ve filled a bath easily with the gunk that has dribbled out of my nose today, and I could easily stuff a quilt or five with the dirty tissues I’ve amassed, though I doubt there’s much demand for that sort of thing. I actually snotted onto my keyboard, and I feel thoroughly pants.

Off to see the midwife now so she can have a feel of the belly-dweller, and tell me how much fatter I’ve gotten since I saw her last. Oh, and just to further my degradation, I’m going to have to pee into a wee tube, which is no easy feat at the best of times, so try doing it with a tummy the size of Roseanne’s arse and not being able to watch where it goes.

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