Two in There!


will you dress them alike?
September 8, 2009, 8:32 pm
Filed under: babies, parenting, pregnancy, twins

12

I’m surprised at how often I’ve been asked this question considering these two are still tucked up and cooking nicely. In all honesty, I can say that it’s something that I hadn’t given much thought to until other people started bringing it up. Convinced that I’d be having at least one more girl (until I found out at 22 weeks that there were two sets of boys bits in there),  all I’d really thought of in that regard was , “oh I’ll get to use all those lovely things I’d kept of Heidi’s”. Additionally, when I found out I was having boys, funnily enough, what to dress them in just didn’t really factor into my thoughts. Probably why I didn’t start buying things until about 26 weeks this time. The urge to buy dozens of little corduroy dresses, with rainbow coloured woolen tights and matching crochet beanies, was entirely absent. Beautiful clothing had always seemed an entirely feminine indulgence to me.

To answer my intial question, after much pondering on the matter; no, I don’t think I will. Yes, I’m having same-sex twins, but does that mean I should indulge the stereotypes we’ve all come to expect? Before I was a multiple-mum-to-be, I found the idea of twins in matching outfits ‘cute’ and even ‘adorable’, though now it just saddens me to think that it’s almost expected. I can understand the odd outfit, worn to please well-meaning grandparents etc, but to consciously make the effort to have them the same, seems just bizarre, not to mention a lot of unecessary time and effort!

Add to this the idea of fostering individuality, and the idea computes even less. I’m having twins, but more often than not as well as rejoicing in the uniqueness of having multiples, I look forward to getting to know my two sons, and get quite excited over what the future will hold for both of them. It may sound unbelievable to others, but they already have very different personalities, so to try and ‘lump’ them together for cuteness’ sake seems, well, just plain daft, really.

We’re already having the “oh my god, how on earth will we tell them apart panic?” and it would be mad to add to that anxiety, having already discussed various indentification methodologies (keeping on hospital bands, painting a toenail on each twin a different colour, Dave has even suggested branding, but I fear that taking things too far).

I guess that I hope by dressing them in their own outfits, that I might be setting the ball rolling for other people to appreciate their individuality. I hope that they get to enjoy opening their own birthday and christmas cards, that they recieve their own presents and that they’re valued for who each of them are, rather than just being ‘the twins’. While it’s going to be wonderful for them to enjoy being part of a unique group of people, brought into the world as multiples, I don’t want to hinder their personal growth in anyway by restricting them to that label.